We need to make a conscious choice to improve: August 26, 2007
I've hit the game with a vengeance. I hope you enjoy! Why do we have a problem with forming relationships with others? No matter how much you may try to tell yourself otherwise, we are here on this planet for one reason: to breed and survive.
There may be other spiritual, political or even minor family reasons, however none of these would be possible if we didn't replicate. It is no coincidence that two of the main four industries on the Internet include the porn industry and dating sites. Social networking sites making up one of the other two.
This is our nature and the core of our very being.
You would think that we would be pretty adept at the one thing we were designed to perform. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. So many of us are actually incredibly unhappy with our marital status or current relationships. One of the main reasons is that we have no idea how we become attracted to others or why we end up in relationships. They are things that just happen.
You must have lost count of the amount of times that you have heard a guy friend of yours referring to getting a girl as getting lucky or a girl complaining that she only ever seems to attract losers. Is this really a coincidence? Are relationships really things that just happen to us, something that we have no control over? Or is there something more to this mystery?
By relationships we are talking about all forms; from marriage, to casual dating to one night stands. Believe it or not, all sexual relationships (I use the term sexual to differentiate between friends or peer groups) or interpersonal attractions are formed in a similar way, and follow a similar format.
This is a giant puzzle that hundreds of psychologists and scientists have been putting together for hundreds of years. In fact, far from being something that just happens, dating, attraction and sexual relationships follow a distinct pattern. It is one that can be learnt and one that can be reproduced.
A word of caution here: interpersonal attraction is not a hard skill. This means it isn't something that can be learnt through rigorous study and following a set of protocols. It is a soft skill, similar to art or football. It has a set of guidelines that help it along its course. Some people are naturally good while others need to be shown the theories. The fact is, no matter where you come from the more you practice the better you get.
Surely attraction is based on looks right? Wrong!