Re: Social Proof Help Required - What to Read? November 18, 2007

The first point is pretty self explanatory; after all, you're trying to have a number of positive interactions with those around you. The second point may not be so easy to understand. When you go out for a party or do your shopping you have a number of things planned in your head that you want to achieve. You do not want someone hassling you or preventing you from achieving those things. Essentially you are not looking for someone to interfere or lower the value of what you are doing.

Bare this in mind when speaking to new people. Value can be added in many ways, from adding fun and interesting conversation, to giving compliments, to just being the social hub of the party bringing that vibe to the people. Either way, remember that you're approaching them so try to be courteous, yet there's no harm in being fun and a bit flirtatious.

Remember, you don't initially want to spend too much time talking to the people, especially if you are likely to be around for a while, such as in a restaurant, coffee shop, long journey or a night club. Allow the first interaction to end quickly, ideally on a positive high note, then you can move on talk to a few other people, and then go back to them later for an even better reaction.

With that in mind here are a number of quick ways to get some conversations started;

"Does this train lead to [insert destination here]... Thanks so much for that I got on in such a rush I didn't bother checking."

"You know, that food looks great. It's definitely what I would have normally, though today I'm being brave. What should I try?"

"Is this the only dance floor here?"

"Does it ever get busier in here?"

"Wow, I love that jacket, it really works with the handbag and everything. I had to stop and tell you, it's rare to see someone accessorise so well."

"Why do crowds have to be so full of people? Wouldn't it be easier if this was just a private road? You could have that part, and I could have this bit."

These are all really simple ways of getting a small vibe going with the people around you. Then simply move around the area, having occasional conversations with people until eventually you have built up enough positive reactions that everyone in the room or area has been spoken to.

Then it is time to move back round and re-speak to the ones you want to actually have a conversation with and begin building some form of connection with them.

AFC AdamLondon

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! At this point, things with the girl in Dallas were getting interesting. She had booked a ticket to come and visit me for Christmas. However, I still needed to practice my game if only to keep my skills sharp. I figured I’d practice online. That way I wouldn’t have to meet them in person.