What are your goals?
Picture what you want
Take a moment now, put the book down (after you read this section), and picture in your mind what the ideal outcome of this process will be for you. Going out every night with a different woman, or sitting on the couch watching a movie with one special one.
Whatever it is, I want you to picture it clearly. I can't do this part for you, it's up to you to decide what you really want and picture it clearly in your mind. And remember, the question here is what do you want. If some nagging voice comes flying in from nowhere saying, "what? That will never happen," just send that voice packing. It won't happen if you don't let it happen. Open up, and let yourself dream. What is your ideal outcome? Put the book down now and don't pick it back up till you've done this.
Ok, did you do it? What? You didn't? Hey, look. This is the easy stuff. We are taking baby steps. But if you don't take them, you are not going to learn to run.
Really, do this. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture your ideal outcome. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back.
There we go! Ok, hopefully whatever it is you just pictured is actually legal. If not, go back and revise. And remember precept #3, "I will be conscious and loving in my relationships." If the picture doesn't include being loving, I think that is likewise cause for revision. Love can be brief, but without it, you'll find this a meaningless exercise. We are not out to feed the insatiable ego, we are out to slay it.
Why do you want that?
Now that we have a goal, we can move to the next step.
Let's examine why you want whatever it is you decided you want. Let's say your image is of you walking hand in hand with a beautiful woman. Nice and romantic.
It's a spring day. Birds are chirping. The sun is shining.
The stock market is up. Everything is perfect. Ok, so why do you want that? What will it give you? If the answer is, it will boost my ego, we have some work to do. While it's true that being in a loving relationship will make you feel better, it's because you are sharing your life with another person. You have someone special to experience the spring day with. It isn't about your ego, it's about living life even more fully. It's about being with someone that sees something special in you, not just someone that gives you something. Remember, we are trying to avoid coming from a place of neediness. If you walk up to a woman and say, "hey, will you go out with me?